When my first son was born, I believed the infant stage was the hardest. Then came the terrible twos. Then we adopted three all at once. Oh my gosh! Now I have four teenagers with a handful of diagnoses we’re trying to transition to adulthood. One son has “left the nest” and is out in the world serving as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’m still in the thick of raising the next three, two of whom have IEPs and trying to figure out how to help these sons prepare for adulthood.
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There are many challenges and behaviors which are associated with Reactive Attachment Disorder such as: lack of affection, lack of conscience, disobedience, manipulation, temper tantrums, physical violence, destruction of property, argumentative, and so many more. Each child is unique in what his or her cycle may look like. What creates negative cycles of behavior and how can we as parents and caregivers help our children to break out of them?
Our home is supposed to be a haven, but as a mom of three kids with RAD (reactive attachment disorder), one son in particular fights with me over everything, even the smallest of things, often making home feel more like a battleground. When raising this kind of a RAD child you know how emotionally exhausting it is. You go to bed tired and you wake up tired. Living like this day in and day out sometimes makes me ask myself: is it really worth it to stand my ground? Wouldn’t it be easier to just give in? Retreat? Let him do what he wants?
My writing goal for today was to edit two chapters of my middle grade novel. I hadn’t even made it half way through the first of the two chapters when at 3 pm I looked at the clock and found myself saying, I got nothing done today. Living with kids with ADHD poses many . . . I was going to say problems . . . but that’s not the right word. It poses many challenges and opportunities which can be very time consuming causing parents to feel like they got nothing done.